The opportunity to spend 50 nights in London came at a crossroads in my life. I thought it would be a kind of swansong, wrapping up my English research to focus on something closer to home: Australian archives, Australian themes, more easily achievable. That’s not going to happen.
An
archive at the end of a gravel driveway in Canberra does not have the same energy
as an archive reached by way of the cobblestones of the ancient Clare Market, and a 150 yard journey passing through five hundred years of history in bricks and stone, and half a million people.
It is more than 50
years since I left London as a child. I thought it was symbolic to spend one night of Sabbatical here for
every year I have been away. It would lay to rest the inexplicable
yearning, because whichever side of the world I am on, I ache for the other side. I would be satiated.
I have observed this call of home in others and regarded it as
misplaced ethnocentrism, as though something in the old world is
intrinsically superior to the new. These, I thought, are the emotions of ungrateful and unsettled people. I am
deeply attached to the Australian landscape and the seasons of the place where
I live, its ancient culture. But it has taken a lifetime to discover all this. But then, although I don’t
believe I am ethnocentric, I love London more now, than ever before. Not satiated.